Do you expect me to print this?

Strong Potential

Fri, 03 Feb 2012 15:00:36 -0500

From an article on a local construction project.

“According to VP and CFO [name omitted] there is a pretty strong potential of this happening in the future as it has been conducted and gone through a great many permits that needed to be issued from civil, state and federal authorities for approval since the initial process in 1993 and went through with concrete plans for our own site ten years ago.”

The Invitation of a Camera

Sun, 08 Jan 2012 18:29:00 -0500

From an article on a photography club.

“Since the invitation of a camera there have always been people who love to take photographs.”

Winnie The Pooh 1: The Missing ___

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 18:26:06 -0500

From a review of Winnie The Pooh.

“It wasn’t until 1961 that the rights were given too Disney by , and after that Pooh had become one of the best known Disney characters too the young and old alike.”

(By who? BY WHO?)

Please, Do Not Have Worry

Fri, 30 Dec 2011 15:11:05 -0500

From an article on a new program to reduce canceled classes.

“Every class is now open, a student who has time at take a class but it unusal for other students, now does not have worry about classes being cancelled.”

RHCP in a Nutshell

Tue, 27 Dec 2011 21:21:05 -0500

From a review of a Red Hot Chili Peppers album.

“Well yea, if you’ve heard one RHCP album then this one will be nothing new. It’s literally the same as all their other albums, Flea plays his bass and does some weird crazy impossible bass line and Anthony Kiedis sings ‘Hey’ and then the album is complete”

Most Guys Are All the Same

Tue, 27 Dec 2011 18:41:06 -0500

From an editorial on dating.

“Let me tell you something. Most guys are all the same. They tell you what you want hear then disrespect you as if nothing every happened. It’s very rare that you actually find someone to accept you for who you are. And those guys are usually gay, married, or too obsessive.”

Tintin Bonus: Role Mole

Tue, 27 Dec 2011 15:05:06 -0500

From a review of Tintin. (Emphasis added by me.)

“Parents loved Tintin because he was a great role mole for kids and kids idolized him for his adventurous attitude.”

Battle LA 3: Warblgarbl

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 21:05:05 -0500

From a review of Battle: Los Angeles.

“This movie had a solid plot, with solid characters and acceptable to the point that the movie has pretty much almost met some of the critics comments shown on TV. So if you are ready to see a movie to just to end your week right, especially being comfortable of spending almost $10 dollars on a movie, this is not a bad choice.”

In Soviet Russia, Tintins You!

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 18:05:05 -0500

From a review of Tintin.

(Suggestion: read in Russian or Eastern European accent.)

“For eighty-years the comics has entertain Europe.”

“Besides the Tintin the most recognize character in the comics is Tinton’s loyal companion Snowy.”

“Today, motion capture is norm. Instead of drawing or generating images, a person is film like in real movie.”

Battle LA 2: Explosions and Hero Fights

Mon, 26 Dec 2011 15:05:06 -0500

From a review of Battle: Los Angeles.

“Warnings and Alerts goes all over to L.A, and the Marines base and as many of the Marines get recruited to this mysterious war, it brings many intense and thrilling scenes like explosions and hero fights.”

Hurray!

Sun, 25 Dec 2011 21:00:05 -0500

From a review of Dead Island.

“You soon discover that the entire island is infested with zombies, you try to escape the hotel by doing the most logical thing, jumping into an elevator shaft…hurray!”

Battle LA 1: Alien Action

Sun, 25 Dec 2011 18:05:05 -0500

From a review of Battle: Los Angeles.

“This movie look very interesting through the commercials and trailers, but was a little afraid if this movie was going to be a another Alien Action movie that was going to a downfall like ‘Skyline’, but was proven wrong.”

Sweet, Sweet Irony

Sun, 25 Dec 2011 15:05:06 -0500

From an editorial on the importance of a college education.

“Getting a educatin is important.”

Narnia 3: The Christian Allegory Drinking Game

Sun, 25 Dec 2011 00:29:33 -0500

From a review of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

“What makes this fun is trying to find C.S. Lewis’s Christian allegories like Alsan dying and the table and coming back to life represents the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. It can be a really fun drinking game.”

(Merry Christmas.)

Ducks, Ducks, Ducks and More Ducks

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 21:05:05 -0500

From an article on cider mills. (Emphasis added by me.)

“Settled in a wooded suburban area, this cider mill serves all guests with a good-sized park, a river with many families of ducks, and a big red barn that serves all the cider and donuts which are by and large better than any other local cider mill or orchard within 25 miles.”

“All of this is complete with a vintage barn embellished with 19th-century antiques, a very large apple press room that is easily viewed through a large fenced door on the outside and a sign that displays some of the special apples that they are using for the presses, and a river that backs up to woods with an incline with beautiful tree lines and ducks as far as we can see.”

“Outside, there are wooden play structures that are a favorite of all comers, a view of the cider presses on the side of the shop, and a highly scenic creek that has an almost incredible number of ducks surrounding it.”

Narnia 2: In Case You Missed It, Aslan is Jesus

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 18:05:05 -0500

From a review of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.

“Many would say that the movie is not a Christmas movie. Santa does appear giving dangerous weapons to kids, there snow and Aslan is Jesus ( Remember everyone, Christmas is Jesus’ birthday).”

She & Him 3: For the List of Horrid Music Day

Sat, 24 Dec 2011 15:05:05 -0500

From a review of a She & Him album.

“On a good day when crappy music is to be listened to no matter how badly, then She and Him is the first on the list. They sing out of tune and make Alvin and The Chipmunks superstars even though the squeakiness of their voice makes one’s ears bleed. For the list of horrid music day, it would be She and Him, Rebecca Black then Alvin and the Chipmunks going from horrid to worse.”

Narnia 1: Aslan the Jesus Lion

Fri, 23 Dec 2011 21:00:05 -0500

From a review of The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. (Emphasis added by me.)

“There they meet Aslan the Jesus Lion (voiced by Liam Nesson) who ask them to help stop the evil White Witch (Tilda Swinton) and restore order to the land.”

She & Him 2: The Fox and the Hound

Fri, 23 Dec 2011 18:10:06 -0500

From a review of a She & Him album.

“Remember The Fox and The Hound 2? Well this is what this song sounds like; a fox and a bunch of dogs howling to music and they called it singing. The only difference is, the fox and the group of dogs ‘singing’ sounds better than ‘She’. Two thumbs up for The Fox and The Hound and two thumbs down for She and Him singing a Blue Christmas.”

(I would have never conceived that someone could reference “The Fox and the Hound 2” in an album review.)

Subtle

Fri, 23 Dec 2011 15:05:05 -0500

From a review of American Pie.

“American Pie is about 4 high school kids who want to lose their virginity before they graduate, and that’s pretty much the plot of American Pie also one of the main characters has sex with a pie.”

“If you are looking for a comedy high school movie about sex with pies, this is an instant reccomendation.”